So I’m Constantly Reading advice columns, and the advice is, well, meh at best. Below are a few questions submitted to an advice column, and my two cents.
I can’t remember how many people I’ve slept with. Is this bad? Should I know my number?
What I Say:
Self-Care is essential. Not only that but you should be a little more mindful of who is entering your body. I know, the next thing you’re going to say is “Men don’t keep track,” and girl, that man is a thot and he should be too. God forbid, you get an STD, would you want to know how many people you let inside your body between testing periods? I am all for girl power, and I am not judging your choices, but I think it’s wise to be aware of who you are letting enter your body, your space, and your energy. If you really don’t want to keep track of a number keep track of a name. Another thing you should ask yourself is why are you asking if this is bad? Do you need validation in your choices? Whatever you do, do it with wisdom. Then you won’t need to second guess it.
What They Said:
No. Good for you for not taking up any precious space in your brain for this trivial number. I encourage each and every one of you out there to stop focusing on meaningless things like who would judge you if they knew how many people you’ve slept with (whether the number be low or high) and instead focus on having an enjoyable and fulfilling sex life, whatever that may mean for you! Celebrate freedom from societal expectations, Amy.
My ex-boyfriend promised we would get back together when he came back from the West Coast. He is back in New York, and I’m still waiting. He texts me, calls me and says he loves me and wants to be with me, but that’s when he’s drunk. When he’s sober, he ignores me. We are still having sex, and he says I am the only one, but I’ve been told he had sex with other girls. Should I let him go?
What I say:
Dead this situation, Immediately! Wait, why is he your ex in the first place? I know this is hard because sometimes you can love a person so much you forget to love yourself. You are better than just a FWB situationship. You’re worth more than a drunk “I Love You.” and You’re too cute to be getting cheated on. No one deserves that type of love. Right now he may just be in a space where he wants to explore. Or perhaps he doesn’t want to lose you. But the only way either one of you will know is if someone removes themselves from the equation. And better you than him. No one has time to be strung along. What if he is dating someone else?
Girl, repeat after me “I will fall the F**K Back.” It’s summer time in NYC. Do you know what kind of weather this is?
What they said:
Iris, I’ve been there. This person is not your boyfriend, nor will he ever be. This is harsh but you need to know: You are simply a convenience to him, and he will keep treating you as such as long as you let him. If he only contacts you when he’s under the influence, it means he views you as some form of alternate reality, only someone to speak to after dusk, in secret, behind a cloak of whiskey. Break it off—right now— block his number (because he will continue to tell you he wants to be with you), and move on. You’ll find a situation much more satisfying than slurred phone calls and empty promises.